Medical, Personal

When Life Happens…

April 29, 2018

Most of the time we go about our lives not expecting the worst to happen. Bumps come along and we deal with them. My life hit a bump and then it hit a mountain. 

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Last October, I was still traveling when I was struck by a bad case of vertigo. The first episode of it happened in Barcelona. It was so bad, I went to the emergency room while I was there. They gave me a shot and it helped for awhile. For the next week, I seemed to be fine as explored Porto. By the third day in Lisbon vertigo had returned. It was even worse than before. I couldn’t eat because I felt so sick to my stomach and I couldn’t write because looking at the computer made it worse. I got out a few times but spent most of the week in bed. Not the best way to see Lisbon. 

My trip was supposed to last about two more weeks but I wasn’t getting better and I really did not want to go to the emergency room in Portugal. (I am sure it would have been fine, but I wasn’t thinking clearly at that point.) I canceled the rest of my reservations and rebooked my ticket home for as soon as American Airlines could get me on the next plane. I was disappointed but was happy to already have a doctor’s appointment for when I returned.

Not all Bad

The bright side in all of this was I had met someone in Greece in September who happened to be from my hometown and still lived relatively close to my parent’s house where I would be returning at the end of my trip. 

While it wasn’t love at first sight, it was love by the second date. Unfortunately, he had to return to the US for work and I continued on my way to Malta. We talked every day, sometimes for hours. I wanted to come back early, but he wanted me to finish the trip. We had already made plans to travel when I returned home. I knew I had found the right man for me. He was caring, thoughtful and loved to travel. I never thought I would meet someone while traveling let alone someone from my hometown. I especially never thought that I would fall madly in love like in the movies.

The whirlwind romance continued when I returned home. He met my family and I met his son. I was going to go to school in January and he was extremely supportive of that. 

And then…

Four days after Thanksgiving, I woke to several missed phone calls and texts from his son and one of his friends. When I called his son back, he immediately asked me if his Dad was with me and I, regretfully, had to say no. 

He then explained that his Dad’s house was on fire and they couldn’t find him. I asked if his truck was at the house and his son said yes. My heart sank. If his truck was there, I knew he was in the house. I tried to stay calm for his son’s sake and offered to come over but the street was blocked off because of all the firetrucks. I fell apart after we got off the phone. Even though it wasn’t confirmed yet, I knew he was gone. 

It took several more hours for the fire to be put out enough for the fire department to look for his body. Later we found out he died of carbon monoxide poisoning and not from the fire, which was a blessing in my mind as he had no idea what happened to him. To this day, we don’t know what cause the fire and we may never know. This is so hard to deal with as I really want to know how the fire started and how just hours before we were both in the house and everything was fine. 

Why?

I am telling you all this for several reasons. One is to let you all know why I just disappeared with no explanation. I had planned on taking a break when I got home because my love for blogging had waned and then vertigo made it difficult. I do miss blogging and am hoping to get back to it soon.

I am writing also to tell you how important it is to have a carbon monoxide detector in your house. I don’t know if it would have saved my love’s life, but it could help save yours or your loved one’s life. We installed one in my parent’s house and I have encouraged all my friends to do the same. Please get one and check your smoke detector batteries at the same time. 

Most importantly to remind you that our time is short and we never know when we could go or when it might be the last time we talk to someone. I know, in theory, we all know this but we take it for granted that bad things could never happen to us. Fortunately, I had told him I loved him that day several times and we had been texting just an hour or so before this happened. I have no regrets just struggling with his absence on a daily basis and what to do with myself now that all our plans will no longer happen. 

Take the time to tell your loved one that you love them often and never take any day for granted. I hope to be back to blogging on a more regular basis soon. 

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36 Comments

  • Reply Jill April 29, 2018 at 2:54 pm

    I am so very sorry.
    Did you ever get your headaches checked out?

    • Reply Tiffany April 29, 2018 at 2:57 pm

      Thank you. Yes, all fine now. It was most likely really bad allergies causing it.

  • Reply Suz April 29, 2018 at 3:48 pm

    Tiffany, take your time to heal and look forward to reading more from you when you can write more. Life can certainly throw a mean curve ball. Kia Kaha.

    • Reply Tiffany April 29, 2018 at 3:53 pm

      Thank you. I hope to be back soon.

  • Reply Lew Toulmin April 29, 2018 at 10:34 pm

    Sorry you have had so many tragedies and problems. Re your vertigo, have you investigated BPPV? This is a type of vertigo I have which is intermittent and I have reduced through keeping hydrated, and drastically reducing intake of caffeine. When I get the BPPV I do the Epley Maneuver 2 or 3 times to eliminate the vertigo. See an expert ENT doctor.

    • Reply Tiffany April 29, 2018 at 10:39 pm

      Thank you. I did see ENT. It took steroids for it to go away. Hasn’t come so I hope it continues.

  • Reply vinneve April 30, 2018 at 3:13 am

    So sorry… just be positive and someday you will wake up and healed.
    I am sure hope the love for travel will not go out of your system! Take care.

    • Reply Tiffany April 30, 2018 at 7:36 am

      Thank you. I hope so. No I don’t think it will.

  • Reply Parul Thakur April 30, 2018 at 11:40 am

    So sorry to read this. Life sure throws curveballs when least expected.
    Please take all the time you need and know that you have friends this side when ever you want to reach out. Hugs and lots of love. ❤️

    • Reply Tiffany April 30, 2018 at 12:56 pm

      Thank you! I appreciate it.

  • Reply Caitlin April 30, 2018 at 11:12 pm

    Big Hugs from Doha!

    • Reply Tiffany April 30, 2018 at 11:29 pm

      Thank you! Miss you.

  • Reply Lorelle May 1, 2018 at 6:12 am

    Wow, what a rough time you have had. When you least expect it, life does seem to rock the boat alright. Definitely taking our time here for granted is something we all need to think twice about. I hope everything works out for you and we will be here to listen to your stories when you get back into the swing of things. X

    • Reply Tiffany May 1, 2018 at 9:08 am

      Thank you. Hope to be back soon!

  • Reply Suzie May 2, 2018 at 3:10 am

    A beautiful and heartfelt post – I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through recently and I really admire your strength for how you completed your course when dealing with so much heartache! Always here if you need me!

    • Reply Tiffany May 2, 2018 at 8:48 am

      Thank you. The course actually helped. I wasn’t ready to work so it gave me something to focus on. I really appreciate that. All my friends and family have been such a huge help during this time.

  • Reply Brenda May 5, 2018 at 7:23 am

    I am so sorry. I can’t imagine. Thank you for being so real and taking this tragedy and thinking of others. Take the time you need to heal. Sending positive thoughts.

    • Reply Tiffany May 5, 2018 at 7:32 am

      Thank you. I hope that it encourages at least one person to get a carbon monoxide detector.

  • Reply Hot Mess May 5, 2018 at 7:26 am

    Jesus!!! I can’t even imagine! I was cupping my mouth in horror as I was reading this. When you said took a turn for the worse, I was not expecting this. Terrible doesn’t even describe this scenario. There really aren’t words for this. $hit like this isn’t supposed to happen in real life, only in the movies. I am so, so, sorry. You are in my thoughts.

    • Reply Tiffany May 5, 2018 at 7:32 am

      Thank you. I agree! The whole thing has been very surreal.

  • Reply kiara May 5, 2018 at 7:37 am

    I am so so sorry! It is very brave to write about it on your blog and I really hope you will feel better again soon. Take your time!

    • Reply Tiffany May 5, 2018 at 7:39 am

      Thank you. It took a long time for me to be able to write it and even then I hesitated to push publish.

  • Reply Susie Lindau May 5, 2018 at 9:12 am

    I am so sorry to hear this! Give yourself lots of time to grieve. I tried to revive my brother a year ago. It was such a shock when he died. We found out later it was a blood clot that had released when he walked the dog. It was my turn. We can keep thinking about the what ifs, but when it’s time, it’s time.

    • Reply Tiffany May 5, 2018 at 12:24 pm

      Thank you! Time is the only way. I’m so sorry about your brother. That must have been terrifying.

  • Reply Ruth Daly May 5, 2018 at 10:20 am

    Tiffany, I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. I was just thinking a few weeks ago that I hadn’t seen any of your posts recently but hadn’t imagined anything like this. There just aren’t any words. I really hope that you can take the time you need. Be kind to yourself.
    Ruth Daly recently posted…You know it’s spring when…My Profile

    • Reply Tiffany May 5, 2018 at 12:26 pm

      Thank you. Blogging dropped off my radar as you can imagine. I am taking lots of time and I am home with my parents.

  • Reply Jennifer May 5, 2018 at 11:54 am

    Although I knew what the ending of this story would be, the details are so hard to read. I want to reach out and hug you. I am so sorry.

    • Reply Tiffany May 5, 2018 at 12:25 pm

      Thank you. It was really hard to write but was good for me.

  • Reply Ritu Bhathal May 5, 2018 at 12:24 pm

    So sorry to read this… (((virtual hugs))) to you xxx

  • Reply Theresa Bailey May 5, 2018 at 10:39 pm

    So sorry for your loss! You should take as much time as you need. On the other hand, blogging might be therapeutic for you.

    • Reply Tiffany May 5, 2018 at 10:43 pm

      Thank you. I hoping it will be.

  • Reply Gary Jefferies May 6, 2018 at 11:21 am

    I so sorry to see this tragedy unfold Tiffany. I had wondered why I’d not seen you over at BUYB for quite some time. This reason was not one I’d wish on anyone.

    Kudos to you though for being able to write this post. I hope it was therapeutic and part of the healing process. Grief, I don’t think (my personal experience at least) ever goes. It just weakens in time and allows life to start over. I hope you find blogging and all the friends you have here helps in some small way x

    • Reply Tiffany May 7, 2018 at 11:26 am

      Thank you! Blogging, for obvious reasons, was not a priority. I was hoping that writing about it would help me move forward.

  • Reply Eric Gamble May 7, 2018 at 6:37 pm

    First I would like to say…damn Vertigo Sucks. Getting older my body is having weird reactions to the world that I never had before and when things suddenly happen to me like a weird reaction to food, it scares the SH&* out of me.
    Now on to your more serious issue. I am so very sorry for your loss. Life is truly short and you never know when something totally random and tragic can occur. Your story reminds me of the family that just suddenly died on their bucket list vacation in mexico from Carbon Monoxide Poisoning. I personally dont own a carbon monoxide detector in my house yet but it is on the list! There are some things you can do to mitigate issues like that but in reality….just be careful and Live Life to the max
    Eric Gamble recently posted…Cancun: A Once In A Lifetime Travel DestinationMy Profile

    • Reply Tiffany May 7, 2018 at 7:17 pm

      It is awful! Yeah, getting older is not fun.

      Thank you. You are right, you just never know what could happen. Please get the Carbon Monoxide detector anyway, though!

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